Long Distance Parenting

July 6, 2008 at 4:45 pm Leave a comment

So, if you read my Introduction, you are aware that I split my time between a home in the Piedmont of North Carolina and a home in the Connecticut River Valley. While I strongly discouraged criticism of that choice in my introductory post I didn’t really fill in the reason that I’ve made it.

The DP and I are on our second go at making a relationship work. We knew each other when we were in our twenties, broke up, lost touch, and then re-united in our 40s. So far, so good. But in those intervening years we had both made the decision to parent children with other people. Sadly, those people did not see a reason to pick up and move households when the DP and I re-kindled our relationship. So, I spend most of my time near the Kid’s other parent here in the Piedmont and the DP co-parents her two kids in the CRV. Since I have a much more flexible job than the DP, I do most (but not all) of the traveling.

Probably the hardest part of making this way of life work has to do with our relationship to each other’s children. Since the DP doesn’t make it down here very often, she has a pretty sketchy relationship with the Kid. He knows her mostly in terms of her generous holiday gifts and a few memorable trips. Likewise, the College Kid and I have more or less a nodding acquaintance as by the time the DP and I were seeing each other very regularly she was more or less out of the house. The Teenager is probably the one kid that we more or less have in common.

So, how do we regard these children? Are we a very weird blended family? Are her kids her kids and mine mine? Or what? We’re still trying to figure it all out. And sometimes that is easier than other times.

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Entry filed under: CRV, Parenting, Piedmont.

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